Being confident about your choices, embracing your vulnerability and turning everything in life into a learning opportunity will help
Published Date – 11 February 2024, 11:59 PM
By Viiveck Verma
Confidence is a tricky thing in today’s times. Believing in yourself and carrying out our tasks with conviction often turns out to be complicated. This is because we are exposed to too many ideas and too many images of what a good life is, and constantly comparing our ways of living with numerous paradigms of existence can engender doubt and mistrust in our own abilities.
Therefore, it is no surprise to note the popularity of the term “imposter syndrome”, widely employed to describe pervasive feelings of inadequacy and endless fear of being exposed as an imposter, or a fraud who is not worthy of accomplishment. Imposter syndrome, as a term, is certainly popular and as a phenomenon, is certainly widespread. How do we then make sense of this persistent and gnawing state of self-doubt? How do we combat a pattern that houses within our consciousness?
Understanding It
Before we tackle these questions head-on, we must gain a comprehensive understanding of what imposter syndrome is and the myriad ways in which it can manifest. The range is very wide, as individuals can become obsessed with perfection or can dismiss every good thing they achieve, or even be stagnated by fear of disappointment. To consider obsessive perfectionism as a variant of imposter syndrome, we can think of times when we set excessively difficult standards for ourselves and feel inadequate every single time we are unable to match them.
Imposter syndrome can also appear in the form of us attributing achievements to everything but our own labour and competence, such as mere luck or external support. Imposter syndrome can also induce inertia and procrastination and we can be terrified of scripting our own life, becoming inactive and avoidant of responsibility to not deal with possible failures. All these phenomena on a wide spectrum have one thing in common— not acknowledging that we have abilities, skills and talents which are relevant and empowering.
Consequently, we can tend to overcompensate by putting in too much effort, constantly talking disparagingly of ourselves to deflect from reality and comparing ourselves to people who appear to be doing it right. From a mental state of self-doubt, it is thus easy to descend into a state of self-sabotage. Imposter syndrome, therefore, can be immediately detrimental to our well-being and necessitates measures of redressal.
Acknowledging It
Like most crises in life, awareness and acknowledgement of imposter syndrome is the first step towards crafting effective solutions. It is important to note that while feelings of doubt and diffidence are common and pointless self-aggrandisement is counterproductive, the problem arises when we consistently undermine our sense of worth and never celebrate ourselves. If such a pattern becomes discernible, rather than denying it or overindulging in it, we must take a moment in time to tell ourselves that we have a problem and the problem can harm us in many ways in both the short and the long run and consequently, merits a rigorous dealing with.
Once we know that a problem exists, the next step is to turn our weaknesses into spaces of reclamation. This can begin with a reframing of thoughts and the most common responses we have to situations. For example, if you notice that you call yourself a loser every time you make the slightest mistake, you must not repeat it when you make your next human error. Instead, you should be kind to yourself and tell yourself that you mostly do good work and are allowed to have occasional lapses in judgement which you can rectify.
Rather than defining yourself on the basis of the last thing you did wrong, you can turn mistakes into opportunities for learning and fixing whatever did not go well, emerging as a more experienced agent in the process. Similarly, you must get used to accepting well-suited and hard-earned compliments and celebrate your worthy achievements, rather than not accepting your moments of victory.
Realistic Goals
On a related note, it is also very important to set realistic goals as we soldier on in life. It is humbling and emancipating to accept that there are too many things which we have no control over in our personal and professional lives. To want to overcome difficulties insurmountable to humankind is a foolhardy and reckless endeavour that is bound to bring disenchantment to us. Celebrating yourself becomes easier when you do not fail mentally upon being unable to achieve an unattainable goal. Significantly, the role of a community in this regard becomes interminably significant. When you speak to people who experience similar things, it becomes possible to externalise the issue and look at it more critically and objectively and when you seek support from your loved ones, you can be met with reassurances which can make it easier to love yourself.
Finally, all of these steps must lead to a finale that is the opposite of imposter syndrome— confidence. You do not feel like an imposter when you feel convinced that you are good at what you do and that living life is worthwhile. This, in other words, is being confident about your choices and your capabilities, knowing that you trust yourself to take care of situations when they do not go as planned. Repeating self-affirmations to concretise self-belief, embracing your vulnerability and turning everything in life into a learning opportunity can make confidence possible. Real confidence will help you sail through the toughest storms in life and will make you feel worthy of your survival and thriving. The opposite of imposter syndrome, therefore, is confidence but is also the radical act of loving yourself.
On the whole, imposter syndrome can be defeated by identifying its symptoms, consciously using empowering methods to mitigate its effects and developing a self-assured mindset in the process. We can gradually get over this prohibitive phenomenon by improving our self-perception through acknowledging accomplishments, reframing negative thoughts, asking for support, and accepting failure as a necessary and inevitable component of growth.
On this journey, we must reinforce awareness of the fact that overcoming imposter syndrome is a quest that calls for perseverance, self-compassion, and consistent efforts to consolidate self-worth. So, go ahead, love yourself and never feel like an imposter again!
